I HATE DOCK!!!! I’m not asking for much. Just a little acknowledgement, appreciation and respect from Christopher Dock for what I do. But I don’t get it. I am sooo pissed at Dock! Last week was the awards ceremony. I was not given the Bible Award. I am usually a humble person, but let me step out of my humility and demonstrate why I deserve this award.
In all 4 years of Christopher Dock, I have gotten all A’s in all the Bible classes, including the elective Faith Walk class. Each A was only one or percents away from being an 100% A+. The worse I ever did was in sophomore Bible when I started out with a B, but worked extra hard, even doing many extra credit things to get it back up to that high A. I have thrived at every thing I have done in these Bible classes. I wrote lengthy papers about my faith. I researched deep any research projects. I recited all the Old Testament books within two weeks of Freshman Bible. Heck, I pretty much taught the chapter on Exodus! Not only have I done well in my Bible classes, but I enjoy them! Every year Bible has been my favorite class to go. I love hearing what the yeachers I have to say. I yearn to learn what God has in store in His Word. A lot of students at Dock dislike the class and only take it because it is required. I embrace it. I actually wish there was more Bible classes at Dock, and I would take them all.
I am a Bible Quizzer! How many quizzers does Dock have? Only me! That’s because I’m the furthest east quizzer in the ACC. There are no quizzers in the Lansdale area (unless they are Nazarene quizzers or WBQA). All of them are in Lancaster and the surrounding area. But when you go there, you’ll find about 300 to 400 of them! I have been in Bible Quizzing for 6 years, but since this is about high school, let’s just focus in the four years that I was in high school. In the last 4 years, I scored (in sequential order of year, starting with 9th grade) 370, 510, 585 and 530 points. I have placed (in same order) 78th, 34th, 12th, and 16th. In the past four years I was one of the top 100 quizzers, in the past three years one of the top 50 quizzers, and in the past two years one of the top 20 quizzers. Remember this is out of 300 to 400 quizzers, and quite a few are of like and greater strength than I am. But let’s not just talk about me, let’s talk about my team. In 2005, my quiz team won the ACC Tournament championship. The team didn’t win any awards this year, but we we were in first place in our league for 2 weeks, the first place team of all ACC teams in the 2nd week, and fiinished about 5th or 6th, a high placing out of 3o teams. Our average reached as high 145 points/match, and was in the triple digits for six weeks. We were the top team in our group for the ACC Tournament, and tied four teams for 9th place in the Invitational, the highest Spring City has gotten in the Invitational since this tournament method has begun four years ago. You cannot deny the accomplishment there. Quizzing is not as easy as it sounds. You can not just pick up a Bible and answer questions. These questions are not easy. They are extremely detailed, and demand detailed answers. It takes lots and lots of studying. Sacrifice is required to make time for the studying, from sacrificing school activities to study time for academics to other hobbies. I have left a lot of things for quizzing. All I wanted was a little recognition from the school.
For the past two summers, I have been a summer missionary for Child Evangelism Fellowship. I have gone all over Montgomer County teaching children at 5-Day Clubs, mini VBS at people’s homes. I teach them bible memory verses, songs, bible stories and missionary stories. Most importantly, I teach them the gospel. Don’t get me wrong, Jesus did tell us to help the poor and the “least of these” as stated in Matthew 25, but I feel more fufilling in teach the gospel than other missions. One example is that many youth groups are going down to the area hit by Hurricane Katrina and rebuilding houses. It’s good that they are concerned where the newly homeless are going to live, but the area is a target for hurricanes. There’s no guantee that house the youth group built will still be in two years. When I share the gospel, they are getting something no hurricane, no natural disaster, or anything else can take away. When people ask me what kind of missions I’m doing, their last guess is evangelism. It’s almost like evangelism is forgotten in missions. It’s no good to help the body, but not the soul. This earth is only for a while, but the spirit will last forever, and so will the gospel. Once again, I want to tell you that teaching 5-Day clubs for CEF is not something any person can do. I have to take a 2-week training course every year. For these 2 weeks, I am taught how to teach children, share the gospel, and tell a good story. For each bible story and missionary story, as well as one bible memory verse and song, I am evaulted on in practicums, which I need to pass. After doing all 12 practicums, I get a diploma for completion. Child Evangelism Fellowship acknowledged that I know the Bible story well enough to teach the children, and give me their blessing to do so. I have passed two years, and I am about do this again for a third year.
I am active in Frederick Mennonite Church’s Youth Group. I have gone on retreats with them. I, along with my sister and her children, are probably the most dedicated to the youth group. I lead a Bible Study on Thursdays. My youth leader considers me as a part of leadership for the youth group. She fills me in on what she is planning to do. This summer, I am going to co-teach with her for the VBS for youth. Expanding to the whole church, they respect my opinions and what I do. I always get their blessing for bible quizzing, CEF missions, and anything I do for the church and youth group.
Finally, let’s look at my future. I am going to Lancaster Bible college, a BIBLE college. I am going to major in BIBLE through the BIBLE ministry program. I am going to get my bachelors degree in Bible, my masters degree in Bible, and finally my Ph.D on Bible. I am going to go to Jerusalem on my junior year in college to further my studies. I will most likely go into teaching Bible. I want to write a book that will end up in the 200s in the Dewey Decimal System, with the rest of the religious books. C.D. well knew about this. Isn’t it embarrasing that Christopher Dock couldn’t recognize it?
You can’t just simply ignore these five things, and you can’t just dismiss them as nothing. Seriously, what more do I have to do? Join a convent with a bunch of monks vowing silence? I have done so much in Bible. What do you want from me? I have a few theories on why I didn’t win and those who did were the winners.
Maybe if I change my last name. What should I change my last name to be so Dock would like it? Landis? Bergey? Derstine? Detweiler? Moyer? Godshall? Hunsberger? Weaver? Ruth?Maybe I should just be Graham Landis-Bergey-Derstine-Detweiler-Moyer-Ruth-Hunsberger-Weaver-Godshall? Can’t go wrong there! I’m sick of being set back because I don’t have the “right” last name!
Maybe I should change church. If I stop going to the small Mennonite church and go to a big mainstream Mennonite church, I can get noticed. Which one should I go to to make Dock happy? Franconia? Souderton? Blooming Glen? Salford? Indian Valley? It’s almost like Dock forgot that Frederick is part of the Franconia Conference. I am a youth in the Franconia Confrence just as much as any other Mennonite at Dock!
Maybe I should get adapted by PA Dutch Mennonite parents. Maybe I need to be in what my pastor calls a “shoofly Mennonite,” someone who is Mennonite because their parents were Mennonite, their grandparents were Mennonite, and their great grandparents were Mennonite, and so on until we’ve gone so far back playing the Mennonite game that you found you’re somehow related to Menno himself! Well, excuse me that both my grandparents are both catholic. It’s not like I got to choose who my parents and grandparents are. I actually think it means more for my family to be Mennonite than theirs. I get crap from my one grandfather (the Korean veteran) because I am Mennonite and refuse to fight in any war. They decide to be Mennonite, and they get a nice pat on the head and a thumbs up from their grandparents.. My grandfather won’t support me for being Mennonite, can’t my high school do that for me?
Maybe I should give loads of money to Christopher Dock. I could pretty much pay off for the award. Well, I’m not that rich. So I’ll have to sell a lot of my stuff. Yeah, that’s in the Bible. And Jesus said, “Sell everything you have and give to Christopher Dock. Then you will have true riches in heaven, and on Dock campus have a building named after you.” Take note of that C.D. underclassmen, every time Christopher Dock says “big supporter” they mean “gives lots of money.” A good song to describe C.D. would Kayne West’s “Gold Digger” beacuse Christopher Dock “ain’t messin’ with no broke-y broke.” (“They take my money…when I’m in need….”) I’m sorry that I need my church’s help through the Brotherhood/Mennonite education plan (which our church is no longer on). But it shouldn’t be so that those who don’t get advantages or get excused from misbehavior.
Maybe I’m being refused this award because I am not going to a Mennonite college or going into Mennonite missions. I chose Lancaster Bible College because none of the Mennonite colleges had the programs I wanted for Bible, and there wasn’t a lot of students in the Bible department. The 5 big Mennonite colleges were just Christian liberal arts colleges, not Bible colleges like I needed. Here, I will be fully prepared in the Bible, but still be able to keep ahold of my Mennonite beliefs. The Mennonite missions are great, but I don’t think missions should be graded by what denomination they come from.
Is it because I won’t sing Dock’s praises about its community? Is it because I discovered Dock’s dirty laundry, or that I discovered Dock sweeps the dirt under the carpet. Sometimes I see C.D. like the Sanhedrin in Acts 7. When they hear a problem, they close their eyes, cover their ears and go “LA LA LA! We can’t hear you!” So I discovered Christopher Dock isn’t heaven on earth like they want to believe. I see they have holes in their community. It isn’t a perfect community like they want, but is a victim of a clique system, like other high schools. I pointed out Dock’s Jr./Sr. Banquet is hypocritical because it goes against their teachings and covenant statement. I am aware of some kids use drugs, some who curse and use the Lord’s name in vain and some who watch pornography. Hey, as long as its not on Dock’s campus. I see problems and, unlike Dock, I’m not going to hide the fact that I know of them. So raising me up would be admitting their problems, which they’re not going to do. Besides, I don’t know why they are so worried about my theology and what I am preaching. If I can be told by my Bible teachers at Dock that the first 11 chapters of Genesis are historically noncredable, that is not right to look at the Bible as totally God’s Word guided by the Holy Spirit or that another teacher can preach day-age theory as a truth (I just heard about this second hand from a student), my theology is the least of their worries. Otherwords, I’d be in line with them.
So that’s why I think Christopher Dock did not award me the Bible award. I didn’t have the last name, wasn’t born into the right family, didn’t go to the right church, don’t have enough money, and won’t sing praise Dock endlessly. Because I don’t have any of those, my record of Biblical accomplishments was ignored. The ones that did win the award did have the right last name, were part of the right family, the right church, and the right income, able to give to Dock as much as wanted. On top of that, they think highly of Christopher Dock. It doesn’t help that both are class officers. I don’t have respect for them after what they did. They cheated on the Arts Day class project. They were fully aware I was not going to Arts Day and that I didn’t want to be part of it, even in the class project. But they didn’t respect me or my decision. Instead, they forged my picture, getting a picture of me that I am totally unaware of. All so they could have a perfect attendance. The ironic part was that it wasn’t needed, the seniors won by 4 points. By not having me, they would only lost a tenth of a point, meaning they would have by 3.9 points. But nope, the senior class wanted the illusion they were united, so they had all pictures up, even the forged one. That really makes me sick.
I have other problem on why they got the award and I didn’t. Both of them have been recognized and awarded with many other things at Christopher Dock. All I wanted is this one award, but no, they had to be given another award, added on to their many. I could go on and on, but I’m not. They could point out flaws for me, and I can just as well point out some good things on top of that. It’s just that at this point these two were put at the advantage and I was put at a disadvantage by things I couldn’t control.
But I want to point out that this isn’t just about one award. The Bible award is just the tip of the icebeg, or rather the spark to gunpowder keg. In the lifetime span of my high school career, of all the above things, I never ever got any recognition, or any sort of acknowledgement, or any kind of respect for doing these things. It’s like they told me I am not Biblical or spiritual enough for them. Occasionally, some teachers (not a lot) will ask how quizzing is going, but it always seems to be when I’m not quizzing, so there is not much to say. I almost got the chance to talk in chapel about CEF in chapel, but it kept getting cancelled. When I spoke at the last “worship night” during the GS2012, I got thanks from some teachers, but it now feels all empty if they heard what they called great, but then wouldn’t award me this award. I was hoping this award would be the award to finally recognize my talents, but it wasn’t. So as of now, the only time I have been awarded anything by Dock is my freshman year at the All-Hackman awards, which was really made up by a fill-in teacher and I’m not sure C.D. really was fully behind it. But thank you, Mr. Hackman, for appreciating me.
So yes, I am still mad beyond belief. I want to rage my anger outloud to every teacher and every student. When I heard them announce the name, and I wasn’t one of them, I was really pissed off, but at the same time I was thinking in the back in my mind, “[sarcastically] We didn’t see this coming. [end sarcasm] Go figure.” To some level, it was predictable. But instead I had some hope. That was my mistake. I gave Christopher Dock the benefit of the doubt. They didn’t deserve it.
And yes, I know that a few years from now that no one will really remember who won the award. But I can one person who will – the recepient for the award. I wouldn’t care about what the audience in the chapel thought, I would be happy because I won the award, and was finally recognized by Dock for what I have done. And I would remember that forever, just like the Hackman award in my freshman year or the computer award in middle school graduation. Ah yes, the computer award. I was so proud I won that award because I thought from 7th grade to 9th grade my future college schooling and career would involve using computers. To me, Penn View had recognized what my future was going to be like. If only Christopher Dock would have done the same. We can actually relate this back to quizzing. I’m not sure how many quizzers would remember that my team won the ACC Tournament in 2005. But I was in it, so I remember it. Whenever I think of it, I treasure it in my heart. And you never know, someone might remember it. I can name every final season match from 2002, as well as the championship team from the Invitational. It would have been great to been able to do the same with Dock, but nope, not going to happen.
So what to do? Nothing really. I am passive-aggressive. So this is what I will do. I’ll just pursue my dreams in Bible. I will get my Ph.D in Bible, become a professor of Bible, write books, and spend Sabbaticals working in Israel. This might make me well known. I’ll be asked to speak at seminars and confrences. Soon Christopher Dock will hear of me again, and go “Hey! A graduate from here. Will you come and speak?” And I’ll say, “Nope. According to you, I’m not Biblical or Spiritual enough.” That, or Christopher Dock Mennonites will treat me like THP, who were also unliked Dock grads, and again dismiss me as a crazy preacher. But I don’t want to help Christopher Dock in any way. If Christopher Dock refusese to acknowlege me in any of my accomplishments, I refuse to recognize Dock for my accomplishments. They will never get me back on their campus, and never get me to donate for their cause.
Jesus said to them, “Surely you will quote this proverb to me: ‘Physician, heal yourself! Do here in your hometown what we have heard that you did in Capernaum.’ “I tell you the truth,” he continued, “no prophet is accepted in his hometown.”
The Contextual Literalist 